Wait... you left him behind so you could engage in leisure travel for months, and you thought this was going to lead to a serious relationship? It sounds like you were a lot more invested in *the idea of a relationship* than in actually having a relationship with this guy. Perhaps this is indicative of a larger pattern that's holding you back.
This is an important piece on so many levels, but especially because you (rightfully) point out the human toll of the relentless commoditization of modern relationship structures and how it's basically this giant terrible machine that inflicts attachment trauma on people at a mass scale. I don't have the slightest idea what the solution is, but thank you for sharing. This was incredibly heartfelt and moving.
Ahh - this is such a poignant articulation of how it feels to be a woman in the dating scene these days. Your lines, "Love just has to be idle for a while! I selfishly needed, on some level, for him to believe in love, so I could stop feeling so tempted by his ideology," stuck out most to me because I'm starting to agree. What's most comforting about that, though, is that one of my best friends had the same mentality at the beginning of the year. Soon after, she met her boyfriend who she is deeply in love with. She was brazen from the start, so I guess coming off strong really is the secret recipe for success. Great read!
Wait... you left him behind so you could engage in leisure travel for months, and you thought this was going to lead to a serious relationship? It sounds like you were a lot more invested in *the idea of a relationship* than in actually having a relationship with this guy. Perhaps this is indicative of a larger pattern that's holding you back.
This is an important piece on so many levels, but especially because you (rightfully) point out the human toll of the relentless commoditization of modern relationship structures and how it's basically this giant terrible machine that inflicts attachment trauma on people at a mass scale. I don't have the slightest idea what the solution is, but thank you for sharing. This was incredibly heartfelt and moving.
💕✨
Happy to see you back on substack.
You are smart, you are kind, you are beautiful. And you are worthy.
Keep writing, showing up and being you. You got this.
♥️
Damn. I’m so glad you wrote this but I’m also sorry you feel this way. This piece resonates a lot. Especially this part:
> The plausible deniability of it all is, even if I wanted to, I don’t believe you can ever truly just give up.
I hope you find love! I understand your frustration, I think
Ahh - this is such a poignant articulation of how it feels to be a woman in the dating scene these days. Your lines, "Love just has to be idle for a while! I selfishly needed, on some level, for him to believe in love, so I could stop feeling so tempted by his ideology," stuck out most to me because I'm starting to agree. What's most comforting about that, though, is that one of my best friends had the same mentality at the beginning of the year. Soon after, she met her boyfriend who she is deeply in love with. She was brazen from the start, so I guess coming off strong really is the secret recipe for success. Great read!
❤️