how to have a brat girl summer for free
it's not an aesthetic it's a way of life
Many people are saying they want to have a brat summer but many people do not know what that means. Take this Time Out article — “places to go to have a brat girl summer.” Bitch, I can’t afford a reservation at Carbone. Union Square tables are nice but I’m going to melt my face off if I sit at one of them for long enough to get an aesthetic picture with sunglasses.
But guess what, today you can be the exact sort of person that’s a Brat. Often, if you’re antisocial (truly a Brat quality) you won’t even have to talk to people. Kind of the point. You can be a people displeaser and literally start being shittier and weirder than you are right now by spicing up your life in the smallest most inconsiderate ways without spending a dime and then, then, you will know what it’s like to be an actual hot girl. You will scorch the earth.
Here are ways I’ve been a brat lately that made me feel exactly like a lime green bitch next door
Glaring at the waiter menacingly if he asks if you want a refill but you know that shit ain’t free
Finishing your roommate’s milk in front of them - strong eye contact optional
Smoking a joint every day but only ones that you bummed from the homeless guy outside your apartment
Calling your friend over to your house at 10am saying it’s an emergency and asking them to help you pick an outfit for the day
Looking angry whenever anyone gives you a compliment to watch them squirm uncomfortably
Wearing sunglasses indoors at a house party and remaining silent when anyone speaks to you
Pausing midstep and bursting out laughing when someone catcalls you on the street until they nervously ask you why you’re laughing and refusing to explain
Wincing at the prices at a bar and ducking your head down to muffled-scream
Asking your roommate when she’s getting more milk
Shaking hands with someone and forgetting to let go while greeting another person
Taking group photos and cropping everyone else out before posting and sending it to the group chat for their approval
Standing by the aux cord and cranking up the volume on the music at the house party whenever someone tries to talk to you
Pleading with the homeless guy if he doesn’t smoke you out
Loudly chewing while eating free food at an event and then asking someone who clearly doesn’t work there for a different option
Saying you’ll help someone with a task and then spending the entire time making it actually more counterproductive
Posting untrue compliments with a suspicious amount of heart eye emojis under every IG post that annoys you
Responding to every text from your friends with a single emoji regardless of context
Doing one of the free lines at a party and accidentally spilling the rest on the floor and saying whoops flatly before walking away
Looking into the distance and exclaiming “OHH!” loudly to interrupt a conversation happening next to you in public
Pretending to forget someone’s name repeatedly even after they correct you
Screenshotting your ex watching your Instagram story and sending it to them with “hey did your finger slip or do you miss me fucker”
Borrowing clothes from your roommate’s closet without asking and commenting that they don’t have anything good bonus points if they’re the opposite gender
Taking a bite of someone’s food without asking and then commenting on how it’s not that great anyway
Bargaining with the guy outside your apartment for cigarettes if he won’t give you a joint
When someone says “omg she’s serving!” replying “no she’s not”
Asking your ex if you look fat in that dress once they watch your Instagram story
When your friends ask you if it’s ok if they pick the next it girl before you do your song for a potentially viral music video, saying it’s not ok i’m doing my song now you unsupportive hoes
Last thing: before you harp on Taylor Swift for blocking everyone on the charts by releasing a new version of her mediocre album every time a pop girlie tries to do anything, maybe that’s her version of Brat girl summer! Maybe that’s how she wants to honor Charli’s call to be petty… respect the hustle
Do even more crimes than you’re already doing, just on purpose at least, god
Heard about brat girl summer the first time today from my sister and then you defined it. Thank you 🫡